Zagat's Guide to Camp Liberty

"Wow, that's like 6 miles ..."

Those are the words that have been indelibly etched into my mind since (Marine) CWO5 Ed Lawson replied with them to a co-worker offering him a piece of cake from the monthly birthday cake we had at the office. At my civilian job, we would gather once a month to pay homage to the office birthdays, and everyone usually has a slice of cake, however small. Ed was apparently very health-conscious and had no desire to run more just to burn off a token slice of cake. Ooh-rah!

Imagine now over a year later, this last Thursday, I am invited by my boss to a Cinnabon run to the Camp Liberty Food Court. The couple of trailers that serve as the fast food escape for the base are located right next to the Post Exchange (military department store), and though I didn't plan on having more than coffee, I came along to pick up a sewing kit (the damage to my clothing is another post altogether ...). I discovered that a basic sewing kit is $7, and opted to just bug my friends and borrow one. I got my coffee (blended mocha) and sat down to a seat where there was half a classic Cinnabon waiting for me. Kim, the generous giver of cinnamon goodness and calories, says:

"If we're eating these things, you've got to have a bite!"

To which I replied, of course:

"Dude, that's like 6 miles ..."

Here's me eating the 6 miles

... and washing it down with another 2 miles!

Brian, with his fat pill

Will, my boss - setting the healthy example for me

Kim, the mastermind, and Tim the wheelman

Low-tech Blogging

If you're reading this, I'm confident you think as I do about OIT (Operation Isosceles Triangle): it's a good place to get your weekly dose of the Fantastic Four's (Matt, Zach, Ash and Kate's) adventures with moms, aunts, and grandparents. Once in a while you also get an update from Afghanistan and Iraq, much like the Voyager spacecraft send telemetry when they encounter something interesting (but just send "I'm here" otherwise).

Before I left, I tried to assemble some pictures to tape to the wall to remind me, laptop or not, what home looks like. I asked for pictures in some cases, drew from the thousands we have on hard drives at home, and Autumn was nice enough to get some posters printed of collages. The result was a wall of pictures in my room, and assorted pictures that I cycle through at work.

When Kate and Ash discovered they could mail things to me, I started getting short notes expressing their various musings (like "this is a cat", written on an abstract reimagining of a cat) and their art masterpieces. Tonya advised me to enjoy the art briefly, then not worry about preserving it because there would be another wave in the mail in a couple days - good lord was she right about the production capability of the girls! I have actually managed to keep most of it, and I post the best ones on my ceiling and one of the wall panels next to the pictures Autumn sent:


My iPhone camera is kind of crappy, so there's not too much of a wide angle on it, but you get the idea. Anyway, I thought I would chronicle what happens each time I get Kinderart, since to the girls it must seem like Uncle James always says "wow, you guys did a great job on the last batch" but I never show them where their stuff ends up. Here you go, Kate and Ash!

Step 1: Select the best of the batch and prepare the duct tape.

Sorry, girls, there's not enough duct tape in theater to put up everything you've sent me. However, the best of it makes it to this stage, where I figure out what wall/ceiling panel it goes on:


Step 2: Roll duct tape and affix to perimeter of Kinderart.

Yes, everything you need to know about wallpapering a steel storage container that was converted into housing, you will learn in Kindergarten ...




Step 3: Press Kinderart onto wall.

Duct tape is amazing; it sticks even with dust covering the wall!


... and that's it! One "Ashley is Cool" sign on my ceiling just above where I look up when I sleep (thanks, Ash!).

When It Rains, It Pours

I posted a couple months ago about how mail works over here in Iraq, which is really a "best effort" extension of how it works back home; the military post offices here collect mail from us and inject it into the mail system at home, and from there we wait the requisite time for delivery. Priority Mail, for instance, takes 2-3 days normally, so if we use it over here, it is however long it takes to get to the US, plus that 2 or 3 days. Getting mail from the US to here works the same way, only in reverse, with mail addressed to my ZIP first getting delivered to the Army, then flown here by them or a contractor on a best effort basis.

I mention all of this because I got four packages today, some of which have postmarks from two weeks ago!!

So, without further ado, the first package I got was:


Shoelaces. I opened this one on the spot at our supply office, since I got an email that an order came in. Yes, I really got a plastic envelope with two sets of shoelaces in them (bootlaces to be more precise). The Army set up this system to replace uniform-related stuff in country that wears out and ... (ok, I think no one cares about the shoe/boot laces).

I took the laces and went back to my housing unit, where I discovered my roommate, Bob, had picked up my mail for me - the other three packages, which I did not know were waiting for me at this point. He reminded me as I gleefully started cutting them open that he recently carried a large metal pole for some distance, which was currently providing us Internet (I knew I would not live that one down for a while ...). I assured him that if these were what I thought they were, I could repay him in spades!

So, the second package was:




SALSA!!! Yes, like the "precious" One Ring from Tolkien's classic, I knew it immediately when I saw the lids of the iconic jars Tonya picked in which to "can" them. I spent a few minutes telling Bob the importance of what I held in my hand, the history behind Tolteca, and how I could not get this salsa even when I was in Maryland. I guess if you are outside of driving distance from Tolteca, you might as well be on the moon if you are trying to get salsa there. Yet, here was a jar, in my hand.




The verdict: it was still good! Obviously, I did not have a reference dish of salsa to do a more scientific comparison, but really, it tasted great. I guess I don't necessarily want to know if there's supposed to be a difference when you perform the canning process if I can't tell as I'm devouring it. Still not convinced himself, Bob took a taste:


... and score another one with the broad side of the chalk for Tonya and Tolteca (but I'm still not forgiven for the metal pole incident). In all, she sent 12 of the jars, which hold a reasonable sitting's worth of salsa (probably about 2 dishes in the restaurant), and rationing it out I go through about a half-jar at a time.

The third package was another bag of chips from Tonya, pictured to the left in the next photo. That brings my stock to three bags, which each supposedly have around 220 chips.

The fourth package was yet another huge surprise ... a birthday party kit from Kathy!


Yes, that is a cake in the middle of the box, and the jar to the lower left is frosting. There are a couple of containers of "drizzle" in there too, which I guess is supposed to go on top of the frosting from what I read of the instructions. There are plates, candles, and little confetti, all emphasizing that it will be the "Big 3-0" for me in a couple of days. I'm leaving it as sealed as I can until Friday, when I will decorate a little, borrow a lighter from the smokers next door, and do a field-expedient birthday celebration!

One of the best parts of the kit was the DVD with pictures of Kathy and Matt making the cake - there are a few pictures of John feeding Matt lunch and getting him ready for the hard afternoon of quality testing (what other expertise does a guy with cheeks like that have?), then the lunacy of baking a cake with a 17-month old is chronicled in a series of pictures of Kathy and Matt working at the island in her kitchen. There were about a dozen prints, which I taped to the wall by some of the other pictures.

There were also Kathy's classic baked goodies in with the kit, which did not make it quite as unscathed as the cake and the salsa:


The Oatmeal Carmelitas on the top shelf and the Poppy Seed Bread on the bottom right didn't get mushed, they got baked more! It has been around 105-110 here for the past week or so, and the postmarks on the boxes indicate they've spent at least two in transit. I didn't see anything wrong with the OCs or the bread, so I put them in the fridge to firm up a bit. Bob thinks that aside from sticking to the bag a bit, they're going to make good midnight snacks (we are flush with things like microwave popcorn and small candies, but these are a meal!). The Pumpkin Bread on the lower left made it just fine, albeit a bit warm, so it's going in the fridge for a bit too.

Whew! What a great birthday I'm going to have in a few days!! Thanks Tonya and Kathy!

P.S. By the way, thanks for making the runs to the Post Office, John ... I noticed the customs forms mostly seem to have your name on them!

1,000 words

Pictures are really worth 1,000 words.

Today, I just want to show you two slideshows: the first includes professional pictures taken by Guadalupe Dove of GDove Photography in Marana, Arizona. She is a volunteer in an organization called Operation Love Reunited and kindly offered to take photographs of Matt and me during James' deployment. She also sent James a beautiful album of proofs!



This second slide show consists of pictures taken during our second professional photo session, this time by Rebeca of Rebeca Irene Photography in Fontana, California. She is also a volunteer photographer, and the pictures you see here are a "sneek peek" of the proofs from our session. (Interestingly, I downloaded them from her blog at rebecairenephotography.com/blog.) The full set of proofs are available at http://www.rebecairenephotography.com/logon/OnlineViewing/session.php (username: Richards, password: Autumn, both case sensitive.)