Extension explanation ... or lack thereof

I think there's a lot of confusion out there about my potential deployment extension; everyone seems to think that I AM being extended, and that I am UPSET about that fact. This perception is, in fact, completely opposite the truth.

BLUF: I AM NOT being extended, and I AM UPSET about that.

Why, you ask? Why in the world would I request to extend my tour and be separated from my son longer than necessary? And why am I disheartened about the refusal of my command to authorize the extension?

There are many details at play here; the situation is not as clean-cut and simple as it may seem at first glance. I requested an extension for only 4 weeks, and there was a unique and specific purpose for the request: I wanted to synchronize my return to the states with James' return. Why is this important? Well, there are 3 possible scenarios if I return to the US a month before he does:

(1) I return to the states, go immediately to California, grab a Uhaul and move Matt back to El Paso in a leisurely fashion, and go back to work after 3-4 weeks of leave .... right when James is returning from Iraq. So as he takes his post-deployment leave, I will have already returned to the daily grind, and we won't have much time off together.

(2) I return to the states, go back to work immediately (leaving Matt in California), and take my leave when James returns. Thus, we would be able to take leave together and reintegrate as a family without the stress of work. On the other hand, let me ask this question: for you moms out there, after a 6-month separation of 7500 miles from your toddler, could you possibly leave your son 700 miles away while you calmly return to work? Out of the question. Absolutely.

(3) I return to the states, go immediately to California, pack up and move Matt to El Paso as expeditiously as possible, and get back to work as soon as possible in order to "save" 1-2 weeks of leave for a family vacation when James returns. This will require me to hurry through the reintroductions to my family in California and Arizona, something which I have no desire to do after 6 months in a combat zone.

So my reasons for extending were not the "typical" reasons, like personal need to continue work in Afghanistan, fulfillment from the job, increased pay and benefits during deployment, avoidance of reintegration or other situations at home, or buying cheap gifts for everyone. I simply wanted to avoid the chaos of moving Matt to Texas and taking leave without James' presence and assistance.

Weeks and weeks ago, I submitted the request for extension, and I learned 36 hours ago that my request was declined by my command at Ft. Bliss. The reason I was given was that I didn't have "a valid reason" for the extension. You can probably imagine how that response made me feel. Apparently, bringing my family together after a year of worldwide separation isn't important enough to the powers-that-be.

With this news, I now have a lot of work to do in my 24 days left in Afghanistan. I have packing, shopping, outprocessing, and planning for my redeployment to do in addition to my regular duties on the ward and in the clinic. And that feels like a humongeous burden at the moment. (I suppose I have now been thrown into the final stage of deployment, called the "11 month slump", complete with anxiety and exhaustion.)

I know everything will turn out OK; I know that I have the support of my family and friends in this process; I know that I have managed to have one of the best deployments that the Army Medical Department has to offer. But it's still hard. And I still worry.